Coalition Energy Policy Explained: “Coal Heats Planet, Melts Snow, Makes Electricity” — The Betoota Advocate

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ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Government’s signature energy policy includes large swathes of funding for both renewable and non-renewable energy generation.

Despite telling the nation for years that sustainable and renewable energy is simply a socialist pipe dream, billions have been earmarked for the Snowy Mountains Scheme as well as the coal mining and energy industries.

To make sense of this seemingly contradictory energy policy, The Advocate spoke to energy policy expert and slot car enthusiast, Hunter Liston, from the Climate Price Council about the government’s plan to save the environment from collapse.

Mr Liston told us that the policy was ‘simple’ and ‘easy to understand’ if you know a thing or two about how energy is created.

“I take it that we’re all on the same page that burning coal and other fossil fuels makes the world warmer, yes?”

Our reporter nodded.

“Right. So what this government’s energy policy aims to do is warm the planet up, so the snow on the Snowy Mountains melts at a higher and faster rate, creating more water which?”

Mr Liston’s eyebrows raised as he waited for our reporter to finish the sentence.

However, due to the high-levels of lead our reporter was exposed to during his childhood, he wasn’t able to connect the dots.

“More melt water means the hydro can generate more power! You fucking idiot!”

“That’s why they’re spending the money to upgrade it! Jesus wept! And that’s why they’re spending more money on coal and Christ knows what else they can burn to make sure the hydro gets bang for it’s buck!”

Our reporter nodded.

Our reporter then asked what the Labor energy policy is, to which Mr Liston explained that it was to simply oppose what the Coalition is doing, but he’s expecting more details soon.

With no further questions, Mr Liston closed his eyes slowly, exhaled loudly and left rudely without saying ‘arriva derchi, Errol! ‘ to our reporter – as is the custom.

More to come.

This content was originally published here.